It’s December 20, 2012 and Lady Gaga has just officially converted to Scientology. She felt disillusioned with the world. She wanted to make a statement about how she’s not on the same spiritual plane as the depraved and unenlightening masses.
However, some skeptics think she made the switch as a publicity stunt before she embarked on her world tour with The Guitar Heroes, a wildly popular alt-rock band that uses Guitar Hero-based technology instead of actual instruments.
T-Pain signed on as the group’s producer after his own label dumped him and replaced him with a robot.
Meanwhile, an outraged Glenn Beck is blogging about the disrespect President-elect Palin is being shown by pundits after she posted a Twitter update suggesting she thought Darfur was located in Iraq.
Despite the faux pas, the nation’s youth look up to Palin and follow her tweets with enthusiasm – that is, when they aren’t deeply involved in a suspenseful series of STD tests taking place during the elimination ceremony on MTV’s new hit show, Guido Love.
The unrepressed fist fights seen on the network’s new Bachelor-styled show featuring former cast members of Jersey Shore can only be rivaled by those seen at the 2012 World Series, where a bunch of suspiciously buff New York Yankees managed to win by abandoning the game and literally beating the crap out of the Red Sox until they could no longer play.
The fiasco would’ve been covered by the New York Times had it not gone out of business. The final blow to the storied newspaper came after one of their reporters got busted for making up sources in a libelous article that questioned Robert Pattinson’s sexuality.
It was an anti-climactic end for The Grey Lady, which had virtually no subscribers left anyway.
And so this is the scene leading into 12-21-2012 – the day the world ends. The few scattered lunatics waiting in their bomb shelters with shelves of creamed corn sit and ponder what they’re going to do for entertainment on a post-apocalyptic planet without the E! network.
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