Every so often, the popular social networking site, Facebook, updates its layout to add new features intended to help users keep in touch with each other. As a result, it is almost guaranteed that groups of terror-stricken users across the planet will break away from their bewilderingly uneventful lives to protest said changes in an effort to turn things back to the way they were.
After the most recent updates, you may have noticed some people on your friends list loudly expressing their resentment as they struggled to determine the difference between the “live feed” and the “news feed.” In the end, these groups generally die down after the people in them start to realize how trivial and/or nonexistent their problems are.
Based on my own experiences, I personally think there are some things in the Facebook community that are far more worthy of protest than the layout updates. Here are a few modest suggestions to make Facebook a better place.
1. There should be something in the Terms and Conditions that prohibits people from posting status updates more than ten times each day. Also users should be given the option of filtering out all updates containing cliché song lyrics, anything written in caps lock, and inside jokes that aren’t nearly as funny as the person who posted them wants you to think they are.
2. Everyone who is considering adding their parents as Facebook friends should first be required to spend thirty minutes reading entries on www.lamebook.com. Afterwards they might be more hesitant to take the “What sex position are you?” quiz and recommending it to 20 of their friends.
3. All extremely personal updates that are posted about users’ sex lives, relationships, families etc. should be instantly converted into updates about Farmville. It’s better for us all that way.
I believe that if these changes are implemented, the entire Facebook community would benefit as a whole. If we’re lucky, we might be as respectable as Twitter one day.
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